Saturday, January 27, 2007
Spiritual growth:
Fortified Camp: deep stirring in me that made me grow hungry for God, a sense of holy discontentment especially during one of the station games when we had to write verses off our memories and then I knew I had none. I felt really inadequate.. especially since I was group leader as well. And even little Vanessa knew Genesis 1:1, I mean probably everyone knew what it was.. but I didnt. Now I do. "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
Stop impressing God's people. If anything, the one to impress is God.
Stop trying to gain favour from God's people. If anything, find favour from God.
God also touched me on the first night service, where I stood there, still, fearing God and I was shivering, I felt like I had no control over my physical self. That's good, I suppose! Plus one of the services which Senior Pastor Lun preached about the fear of the Lord. Cos the bible says that true wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord.
Father I pray You will teach me what that means. How to gain knowledge as I acknowledge that God, you are a God of love and mercy and grace, you are a God that amazes. You are creator. But God, I know that beyond that You are also a God of wrath, and justice, and anger. Father the things that You are able to do are way beyond my comprehension. Just as You have created me Lord You can so easily destroy me.
Learning to surrender my whole self - body and soul - to God.
God spoke to me about brokeness. For only to reach new heights, I must first be broken, so that God can pass through me.
Father, pass through me, not pass by me.
There were alot of inner struggles and deceiving from the devil, who instilled a sense of fear that's holding me back. I had a lot of difficulty trying to learn to come to terms with surrendering my whole self. I was scared of the pain that God could put me through, afraid that He may take my family or my loved ones away.. I feared the consequences. Surely it was going to be painful. But God reminded me, through David, that whatever God brings me to, He will take me through it as well.
God's grace will be sufficient for me.
A series of weird/unhappy events.
The Nick incident, the things that were happening in my family plus bouts of emoness which came from dont know where. I thank God for allowing all these to happen so that I can have more direction in my prayer life. Through the Nick incident I learnt that I dont have to fear the devil like that. Who is the devil? He is someone whom I have authority over, for I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit that is in me always, always, reigns victorious. For as I walk with the Holy Spirit, I am made righteous. “For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:10-11
Learn to wait upon the Lord.
These events made me feel very lost.. I didnt know how to deal with Nick and if I were doing the right thing. I didnt know if this was what God wanted me to do. I felt loveless as my family was falling apart.. all these made me turn to You O Father. I thank You God for letting all these happen so that I may be able to seek You with much desperation.. As I continually seeked You, I wondered if Lord you were showing favouritism. How come You are so evident in lives like David's and Abby's? How come they can talk about the times when God You've spoken to them and teach them what to do? I felt like God was continually passing me by. How come the holy spirit calls Jeanette to pray over others but she doesnt ever come to pray for me when I step up to alter calls? Does she secretly dislike me? Is the Holy Spirit passing me by again? Do I know you, Holy Spirit? (Once again, Huiting, find favour not in God's people but in the Lord. Dont be concerned over what man judges me by, but live a life that's one of influence. For Im a good vine of the best quality, the purest choice when God first picked me. I thank You O Father that You may choose me, and that You may choose me early in my life.) Why God, I questioned, do you not speak to me? How come I cannot hear You? I prayed that God will open up my ears and my eyes and my heart that I may hear His voice.. The places where He has called me to, the things that He wants me to do.. basically to fufil His purposes for me. Before I can even obey, I need to know what God wants me to do. But for awhile I continued to be directionless, but once again God spoke to me through David, or just simple coincidences like the christmas gift from aunty carol, which gave me this verse
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31. God was speaking to me that I must be patient and wait upon Him, for that pleases Him! Cos His timing is perfect, His timing might not be the timing we want, His timing may not be our timing, but when the time arrives, man.. I will gain so so much more. And his timing arrived today! He gave me a whole sermon to learn from! To distinguish His voice! It was everything I prayed for! I needed someone to teach me and quench my doubts! Whether the voices I am hearing, which of these are from myself, the devil, and from God! Oh man, it is wonderful. God You amaze me in your own sweet ways Father. Lord I am excited that You are so near me. Father I will hold on to You, I will hold on to You. Father I will not let you go.. That will be the last thing I want.
God's challenge and calling: serve in committee.
I had alot of doubts, which committee to serve in. I know that God has called me to serve in committees since way long back, j2 grad night planning.. cos during that time I felt that many of the ministries dont suit me. (well Huiting, make yourself suit them. God does not suit you. It does not work that way.) And I also felt that I can be quite good at planning certain stuff and coordinating things. I needed God to further show me where He wants me to be involved in. And well I knew it was not Christmas. It was between camp and youth conference. But eventually my heart was found in the youth conference. God challenged me, that though it may be very near my prelims, though that it may be my A level year, will you obey me? Will you take that step of faith?
And Lord I want to say, Yes God, I want to obey You. Now that You have called me, which is what Ive been waiting for all these while, how can I choose not to obey??
God I also want to trust in You and commit my time and my abilities to You. Father I pray that you will use me to the fullest potential and in the most effective ways. Father I want to trust that as I honour You God You will honour me. I want to commit my studies into Your hands. Lord I sign up for committee not with the purpose of receiving Your blessings.. you know that. You know I am so hungry for You. So hungry.. just wanting to draw so near to You. To have such deep intimacy with You.
Father I thank You O God, for reassuring me today. That Lord I know this is Your will for me, cos the moment I signed up I did not have a sense of regret. Father I trust that You will honour me as I honour You. And Lord as I come to serve You, God you will take me to new heights. You will show me even more magnificent things, that Lord You will show me Your glory.
I thank You God for taking me this far. Lord my heart rejoices in You. Father I pray Lord that you will empower me with the Holy Spirit, that I may be a woman of influence, one made from the purest choice of vine, God I will shine Your light, Your glory. Lord this day let me be Your reflector. Father I pray that You will forgive my sins.. especially in the ways I have failed to honour my parents. Lord I pray that You will teach me and guide me to walk away from them, because God You have given me the power against my sins. Lord this day I just want to commit everything into Your hands, Father may Your will be done.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
8:10 AM____________________________________________________
Fortified Camp: deep stirring in me that made me grow hungry for God, a sense of holy discontentment especially during one of the station games when we had to write verses off our memories and then I knew I had none. I felt really inadequate.. especially since I was group leader as well. And even little Vanessa knew Genesis 1:1, I mean probably everyone knew what it was.. but I didnt. Now I do. "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."
Stop impressing God's people. If anything, the one to impress is God.
Stop trying to gain favour from God's people. If anything, find favour from God.
God also touched me on the first night service, where I stood there, still, fearing God and I was shivering, I felt like I had no control over my physical self. That's good, I suppose! Plus one of the services which Senior Pastor Lun preached about the fear of the Lord. Cos the bible says that true wisdom comes from the fear of the Lord.
Father I pray You will teach me what that means. How to gain knowledge as I acknowledge that God, you are a God of love and mercy and grace, you are a God that amazes. You are creator. But God, I know that beyond that You are also a God of wrath, and justice, and anger. Father the things that You are able to do are way beyond my comprehension. Just as You have created me Lord You can so easily destroy me.
Learning to surrender my whole self - body and soul - to God.
God spoke to me about brokeness. For only to reach new heights, I must first be broken, so that God can pass through me.
Father, pass through me, not pass by me.
There were alot of inner struggles and deceiving from the devil, who instilled a sense of fear that's holding me back. I had a lot of difficulty trying to learn to come to terms with surrendering my whole self. I was scared of the pain that God could put me through, afraid that He may take my family or my loved ones away.. I feared the consequences. Surely it was going to be painful. But God reminded me, through David, that whatever God brings me to, He will take me through it as well.
God's grace will be sufficient for me.
A series of weird/unhappy events.
The Nick incident, the things that were happening in my family plus bouts of emoness which came from dont know where. I thank God for allowing all these to happen so that I can have more direction in my prayer life. Through the Nick incident I learnt that I dont have to fear the devil like that. Who is the devil? He is someone whom I have authority over, for I am the temple of the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit that is in me always, always, reigns victorious. For as I walk with the Holy Spirit, I am made righteous. “For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” Psalm 91:10-11
Learn to wait upon the Lord.
These events made me feel very lost.. I didnt know how to deal with Nick and if I were doing the right thing. I didnt know if this was what God wanted me to do. I felt loveless as my family was falling apart.. all these made me turn to You O Father. I thank You God for letting all these happen so that I may be able to seek You with much desperation.. As I continually seeked You, I wondered if Lord you were showing favouritism. How come You are so evident in lives like David's and Abby's? How come they can talk about the times when God You've spoken to them and teach them what to do? I felt like God was continually passing me by. How come the holy spirit calls Jeanette to pray over others but she doesnt ever come to pray for me when I step up to alter calls? Does she secretly dislike me? Is the Holy Spirit passing me by again? Do I know you, Holy Spirit? (Once again, Huiting, find favour not in God's people but in the Lord. Dont be concerned over what man judges me by, but live a life that's one of influence. For Im a good vine of the best quality, the purest choice when God first picked me. I thank You O Father that You may choose me, and that You may choose me early in my life.) Why God, I questioned, do you not speak to me? How come I cannot hear You? I prayed that God will open up my ears and my eyes and my heart that I may hear His voice.. The places where He has called me to, the things that He wants me to do.. basically to fufil His purposes for me. Before I can even obey, I need to know what God wants me to do. But for awhile I continued to be directionless, but once again God spoke to me through David, or just simple coincidences like the christmas gift from aunty carol, which gave me this verse
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31. God was speaking to me that I must be patient and wait upon Him, for that pleases Him! Cos His timing is perfect, His timing might not be the timing we want, His timing may not be our timing, but when the time arrives, man.. I will gain so so much more. And his timing arrived today! He gave me a whole sermon to learn from! To distinguish His voice! It was everything I prayed for! I needed someone to teach me and quench my doubts! Whether the voices I am hearing, which of these are from myself, the devil, and from God! Oh man, it is wonderful. God You amaze me in your own sweet ways Father. Lord I am excited that You are so near me. Father I will hold on to You, I will hold on to You. Father I will not let you go.. That will be the last thing I want.
God's challenge and calling: serve in committee.
I had alot of doubts, which committee to serve in. I know that God has called me to serve in committees since way long back, j2 grad night planning.. cos during that time I felt that many of the ministries dont suit me. (well Huiting, make yourself suit them. God does not suit you. It does not work that way.) And I also felt that I can be quite good at planning certain stuff and coordinating things. I needed God to further show me where He wants me to be involved in. And well I knew it was not Christmas. It was between camp and youth conference. But eventually my heart was found in the youth conference. God challenged me, that though it may be very near my prelims, though that it may be my A level year, will you obey me? Will you take that step of faith?
And Lord I want to say, Yes God, I want to obey You. Now that You have called me, which is what Ive been waiting for all these while, how can I choose not to obey??
God I also want to trust in You and commit my time and my abilities to You. Father I pray that you will use me to the fullest potential and in the most effective ways. Father I want to trust that as I honour You God You will honour me. I want to commit my studies into Your hands. Lord I sign up for committee not with the purpose of receiving Your blessings.. you know that. You know I am so hungry for You. So hungry.. just wanting to draw so near to You. To have such deep intimacy with You.
Father I thank You O God, for reassuring me today. That Lord I know this is Your will for me, cos the moment I signed up I did not have a sense of regret. Father I trust that You will honour me as I honour You. And Lord as I come to serve You, God you will take me to new heights. You will show me even more magnificent things, that Lord You will show me Your glory.
I thank You God for taking me this far. Lord my heart rejoices in You. Father I pray Lord that you will empower me with the Holy Spirit, that I may be a woman of influence, one made from the purest choice of vine, God I will shine Your light, Your glory. Lord this day let me be Your reflector. Father I pray that You will forgive my sins.. especially in the ways I have failed to honour my parents. Lord I pray that You will teach me and guide me to walk away from them, because God You have given me the power against my sins. Lord this day I just want to commit everything into Your hands, Father may Your will be done.
In Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.
8:10 AM____________________________________________________
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